You Don't Know - 10/8/15

Hi Anthony,

I don't know you, so this isn't actually addressed to you. Because to me, you are not a person. I have never met you. I have only a single sentence upon which to base this. You are more than a person to me. You are an idea. You wrote something which hurt me. Words tore like daggers into my being. You represent the negativity and judgment individuals face every day. Today, you said:

"You sound like a self centered douche bag."

I am not DoctorBeDancing.

I am Adnan.

I am a person.

I have feelings.

I have a mind.

I have a body.

 

To create a symbol of positivity that was stronger than my flesh, I poured my sweat into the concrete. While working at the hospital, I also worked anywhere from 10-30 hours a week to donate something unique to humanity.

You don't know how I sacrificed my entire summer because I could think of nothing except DoctorBeDancing.

You don't know how I gave up every day off I had because I danced it away.

And you don't know that after I danced, I was too tired to do anything else afterwards.

You don't know the courage it took for me, a skinny Indian kid, to stand up to the people who threatened me on the street.

You don't know how my house was robbed and the part that hurt me the most was my boombox being taken.

You don't know the toll DoctorBeDancing took on my social life or my relationships.

You don't know how I limped away from my dancing sets because my legs throbbed.

You don't know how many times I worked 20 hours overnight until 7 or 8 in the morning and still danced the next day.

And you don't know how much it took for me to smile when I danced after working overnight because my first patient died the day before.

You don't know how I almost stopped enjoying dancing because some days it felt like work.

You don't know how hard it was to dance in 90 degree weather and 100% humidity for the third straight day and still hate myself when I got home because I felt like I still hadn't done enough.

You don't know how I stopped running because my knees couldn't handle the the pain from both dancing and running. 

You don't know how much running means to me, and so you don't know what the previous sentence even signifies.

Because: You. Don't. Know. Me.

 

You don't know me.

You don't know how I could be brought to tears by my work.

You don't know how a simple smile could power me through another dance. 

You don't know how some days, everything I gave up was all worth it because of a simple note that somebody wrote saying thank you.

You don't know know how much words mean.

And you don't know how much yours discouraged me.

So, let my actions speak louder than my words.

Then judge me. 

 

DoctorBeDancing is about tolerance of diverse ideas because we are all individuals.

I am a person. 

You are a bully.

And you don't know.

 

Love,

Adnan

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